Date : 11 July, 2012
This article may be off the records but something inside me (no you idiot it's not my stomach!) tells me that I must get this article to the world. Right now I am sitting beside my maternal grandmother and watching her die, counting her last breaths. I have seen her in the best of her forms, well, sort-of-best of her forms; and now seeing her lying there on the bed waiting to pass is really disturbing.
It's funny, but for some reason, I have no memories of me spending a lot of time with her. Still, I feel sick even by the thought of her leaving this world. The best memory of mine with her would be she taking me to the Saturday market of Allahbad, where vendors would sell all type of caged animals and sweets. Whenever I visited my grandmother's, I wouldn't miss it for the world. And now for the rest of my life, the last memory of hers that would be imprinted on my mind, would be of her dying so miserably.
Though we are doing the best we can do to keep her alive, a part of me wants to release her from the cage that her body has become for her. I probably hope that she too wants to leave her body forever. Death is a funny concept in a way. We know it is sure to come, still we are scared of it the most. A very hard truth is, no matter how much sad we become on someone's death, a part of us always feels comfort by the fact that we are still alive. It's funny how sometimes death's preference is so high over life. How sometimes failure seems the only victory left to achieve! Doctor says she is listening and seeing everything but not registering anything in her mind. Relatives say that she will give up her breaths after she has seen me for one last time. I am the only son of her only daughter. High hopes are running on me. And now that she has seen me, all everyone can wish of is her death.
It's kind of haunting, to see someone die such a miserable death. Every bit of celluloid of my grandma's body has worn off. Bed sores are appearing on every other corner of the body. Teeth are deteriorating and breath is all she has got in her body. Once beautiful her face, is now a sunken piece of skull covered with epidermis. I can only think of what she might be going through.
Dated : 14 July, 2012
I took a leave from her today! I bid adieu to grandma one last time (probably the last), even though I know she doesn't even recognize who is coming or going. She just cries and through a lost corners of her eyes, omits what ever little water remains in her body. Life is a bitch for sure!
Edit:(I cannot reveal the date)
The news of her demise arrived this morning. I had a mix of expressions. Shock, sad, somewhat happy too because she got rid of her pains. Will that stop me from doing my regular chores? No! As a wise man once said, 'The Show Must Go On' and this is the only truth the world follows.
Quoting Pink Floyd (The Show Must Go On)
Ooooh, Ma, Oooh Pa
Must the show go on?
Ooooh, Pa. Take me home
Ooooh, Ma. Let me go
There must be some mistake
I didnt mean to let them
Take away my soul.
Am I too old, is it too late?
Ooooh, Ma, Ooooh Pa,
Where has the feeling gone?
Ooooh, Ma, Ooooh Pa,
Will I remember the songs?
The show must go on.
Until next time (if there is any),
Adios!
This article may be off the records but something inside me (no you idiot it's not my stomach!) tells me that I must get this article to the world. Right now I am sitting beside my maternal grandmother and watching her die, counting her last breaths. I have seen her in the best of her forms, well, sort-of-best of her forms; and now seeing her lying there on the bed waiting to pass is really disturbing.
It's funny, but for some reason, I have no memories of me spending a lot of time with her. Still, I feel sick even by the thought of her leaving this world. The best memory of mine with her would be she taking me to the Saturday market of Allahbad, where vendors would sell all type of caged animals and sweets. Whenever I visited my grandmother's, I wouldn't miss it for the world. And now for the rest of my life, the last memory of hers that would be imprinted on my mind, would be of her dying so miserably.
Though we are doing the best we can do to keep her alive, a part of me wants to release her from the cage that her body has become for her. I probably hope that she too wants to leave her body forever. Death is a funny concept in a way. We know it is sure to come, still we are scared of it the most. A very hard truth is, no matter how much sad we become on someone's death, a part of us always feels comfort by the fact that we are still alive. It's funny how sometimes death's preference is so high over life. How sometimes failure seems the only victory left to achieve! Doctor says she is listening and seeing everything but not registering anything in her mind. Relatives say that she will give up her breaths after she has seen me for one last time. I am the only son of her only daughter. High hopes are running on me. And now that she has seen me, all everyone can wish of is her death.
It's kind of haunting, to see someone die such a miserable death. Every bit of celluloid of my grandma's body has worn off. Bed sores are appearing on every other corner of the body. Teeth are deteriorating and breath is all she has got in her body. Once beautiful her face, is now a sunken piece of skull covered with epidermis. I can only think of what she might be going through.
Dated : 14 July, 2012
I took a leave from her today! I bid adieu to grandma one last time (probably the last), even though I know she doesn't even recognize who is coming or going. She just cries and through a lost corners of her eyes, omits what ever little water remains in her body. Life is a bitch for sure!
Edit:(I cannot reveal the date)
The news of her demise arrived this morning. I had a mix of expressions. Shock, sad, somewhat happy too because she got rid of her pains. Will that stop me from doing my regular chores? No! As a wise man once said, 'The Show Must Go On' and this is the only truth the world follows.
Quoting Pink Floyd (The Show Must Go On)
Ooooh, Ma, Oooh Pa
Must the show go on?
Ooooh, Pa. Take me home
Ooooh, Ma. Let me go
There must be some mistake
I didnt mean to let them
Take away my soul.
Am I too old, is it too late?
Ooooh, Ma, Ooooh Pa,
Where has the feeling gone?
Ooooh, Ma, Ooooh Pa,
Will I remember the songs?
The show must go on.
Until next time (if there is any),
Adios!
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1 comments:
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