1. Engineer Always Do Things Right Before The Deadline
A very typical habit of engineers. There are many engineers who complete their work on time, I agree, but most of them wait for the last day to arrive and scare the shit out of them to make them actually move their heavy load of ass. Notably though, even on the edge, they perform the given task fairly (sometimes exceptionally) well. And what do they do with the rest of the given time? Trade secret!
2. Engineers Are Warehouses Of Soft Addiction :
In case you don't know what a soft addiction is, it is an addiction to anything other than drugs,alcohol or cigarette. There is no fucking trade secret to what engineers do in the meantime allotted for a given task. Soft Addictions are very commonly spotted amongst engineers. With piracy and accessibility on its full boom, getting movies, daily soap operas and games is not a big task. Further, they are so fucking incredible, one cannot resist getting addicted.
3. Engineers Are Socially Creepy
With almost no social life inside and outside the campus and soft addictions riding all over them, Engineers start doubting their social capabilities, not that they have any. Slowly and gradually, that very doubt gets converted into a disease of sorts called 'social creepiness'. Prime symptoms include 'drooling over women in public', 'sweating in front of someone speaking about something that does not include women,alcohol and engineering' etc.
4. Engineers Have Never Met The Creature Called 'Girlfriend' -
No social life means no wooing power over girls. To top it off, a very minimal count of opposite sex on the board, out which only few of them deserve to be called beautiful or hot or sexy. And if this wasn't worse, all are committed to a guy in a long distance relationship. Does he fuckin' pays your McDonald's bills? IF at all a few of them remain uncommitted, you have to fight through an army of goons to reach her and another army of goons to keep her. Makes you think you are better off without them huh?
5. Engineers Love Their Pornography
Though no engineer would openly buy the fact, deep within they very well know that this is true.No girlfriend means loneliness and a guy with a computer connected to the internet will eventually end up watching porn no matter what. And computers? we have a helluva lot of them with us. I know a guy whose porn collection can give Brazzers a run for their money.
Please note this girls that we are not nymphomaniacs, we are just...um, whatever forget that!
6. Engineers Are Highly Addicted to Cigarette,Alcohol and Other 'Good Things'
Porn is not the only thing that removes loneliness right? There are better things to kill time (and yourself) like drinking! And Oh boy! we drink. When I started my first year, few people were involved in smoking or drinking. But as the time passed by, people started smoking or drinking and now a major part of the institution is infected. Are you infected yet?
7. Engineers Don't Know What Body Clock Is
or at least they don't know how to follow it. How can a drunk guy can after all? A funny incident: When I sleep and wake up late at home, my father heavily doubts my ability to attend classes and give exams. He has no fucking idea what goes on here. My record? Non stop cramming for about 24 hours and giving the paper without sleeping and scoring 59. Beat that Bitch!
And the College Diaries award goes to a friend of mine who drank almost 3 full whiskey for 18 to 20 hours, sleeping for 2 hours, driving to a friend's house for 1 hour and then drinking again 2 and a half more for another 18 hours ! College Diaries salute you!
8. Engineers Have The Most Fucked Up Body structure Ever Possible
True Story! If you a spot a guy with puffy eyes, lost looks, unshaven beard and a body figure not even the creators of Geometry can specify; you have probably spotted an engineer. All that drinking and waking up through the night takes a heavy toll on the body and results are pretty much screwed up!
9. Engineers Hate The Fact That They Are Engineers
"Isse accha to B.Com kar lete yaar D.U. se, kahaan fass gaye! (We might have better done B.Com. from Delhi University rather than being an engineer)" is a phrase that echoes a lot amongst engineers. No one is nuts enough to do something that they hate unless forced upon to do so. Most of the of the engineers are actually career cases that had no other options than engineering in career to choose from. But intimacy from something overtime develops love and dare you call something bad about engineering in front of an Engineer. He will break your head if he can or cry out loud.
[A cheat trick: Tell an engineer that he wouldn't get a job when he would graduate and he would burn to his guts]
10. Engineers Have A Spirit To Die For
But come what may, Engineers always touch the finish line and survive. And in life, that is the most important thing!
All that kidding apart now. A salute to every engineer in every corner of this country. If you have, by any means, passed all your semesters without having a back I know what you might have probably gone through. Problems are a part of everyone's life, but life is a part of the problems inside the campus. With 240 tests, 50 assignments, 4 projects, unlimited deadlines, umpteen fights, first crushes and first loves, deadly fights, social and peer pressure, friendships and lose ends one faces in the campus, any other pressure of life looks too small to even count. And if it were not for our undying spirit, the world would not have been a better place. After all, we are the FUTURE!
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
If you think I have missed something, or you have a better version to tell, feel free to fill up the comment box! :) Until next time,
Adios
P.S.: You might have noticed that by far each point, except the last one, logically followed the previous one (or you didn't?). There was a reason behind this construction and a reason behind why I mentioned it in the last point. If you are thinking I was showing off my intellectual shit; you are damn right! ;)
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